A week from now I'll be back at school, which of course means I've stopped stressing about being bored at home, and started stressing about not getting the most out of my time at home. After the hell of exams, I really wanted to relax this break, and I did, but I also had a few important things to get done. Things that are nowhere near done yet. Namely, my application to study abroad next year.
I sometimes hesitate to talk about this, because although I want it more than anything, it also makes me feel like a walking talking cliche. I plan to study abroad in the U.K. for a semester - yes, me, the Doctor Who and Harry Potter loving anglophile, with a cartoon map of London and a poster from the Globe Theatre on her walls. I am literally the opening chapter of a YA boarding school novel.
I know that this is not actually going to be like a teen novel, and trust me, I definitely don't want it to be. To be honest, right now I'm just concerned with having a good application. I'm not exactly sure how competitive it is, but I'm sure I've picked the most popular destination, by far. Back in high school I applied to a ton of scholarships, and got almost none of them. I'm a decent writer, but I guess I don't do well on open-ended questions.
But for now, let's assume I get it. Obviously it's exciting, a brand new slate - I'll know nobody at the school when I arrive. I'm sure I'll make some great friends and a lot of memories, I think I can at least count on that. But what else? No matter how much I remind myself, it's really, really hard to shake the expectation that this is going to change my life. That I'm going to fall in love, discover my true calling, or something equally revolutionary. All the novels and movies are whispering it to me - this will be Something Big.
I know, my life is not a fairytale, right? But what if this is where the story starts? The moment when all the forces of fate, destiny, magic and the universe converge to change everything forever?
It's silly and naive, and definitely doesn't help me avoid that walking talking cliche problem. But I can dream, right?
(I guess in addition to dreaming, I've got to get started on that application, 'cause it won't write itself.)
Goodnight, bloglings
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