Week 34: Lists

I think it's a pretty safe bet that the past twelve months have held more stress for me than the preceding 18 and a half years combined. I mean, most of the posts on this blog were born out of some stressful situation or another. And while I'm a generally happy person, and don't feel that stress or anxiety is currently impacting my life in a big, significant way, it is something that is incorporated into my day-to-day thinking.

I could probably write thousands of words about the things that I think are behind my stress. I mean, really behind it. But once I've battled my way through a particularly rough patch, like just now, the only thing I want to do is sleep. So I'm going to talk a bit about how I cope with stress day-to-day, and then I'm gonna sleep. Because sleep fights stress. I think?

I'm not quite sure how I discovered it, but my go-to response when I notice I'm stressed is to make lists. Actually, I think this skill just sorta spontaneously evolved in symbiosis with my increasing stress levels. Which is pretty cool. I mean, websites and counsellors and those little booklets they give you at frosh orientation are all fine and good (and can be really really helpful) but it's great to know that my mind came up with a way to help itself.

Anyways, so yes. Lists. I think this started out as a mental checklist to help me fall asleep - a way of addressing all the stressful things in my life at the moment so that my brain might stop obsessing over them for five minutes and let me drift off.

But as stress became a more round-the-clock sorta thing, these lists turned into actual to-do lists. Or more like, to-worry-about lists. Some of the items are things I can do immediately, or tomorrow, and some of them I won't be able to do anything about for a few weeks - or forever. But either way, having them listed out is like installing a filing cabinet in my brain. Instead of a messy jumble of ideas and memories and reminders and worries, each of my stressors has its own place. This makes it easy to deal with each of them individually - divide and conquer!

Plus, the methodical process of finding pen, paper and a flat surface, and writing out entry after entry, is pretty soothing, and can really help me come down from the edge of a panic attack.

During the semester my desk is littered with sticky notes (that have usually lost their stick) telling me the things I should be thinking about. Each on their own line - each in their own time.

Ok that was corny as hell. I should probably apologize. And also go to bed.

But seriously. I'm not trying to suggest a way for others to deal with their stress here - although I wish I knew enough to do that, cause stress freaking sucks. I just wanted to take a sec to appreciate that I have a strategy that generally works kinda great. I think I'm pretty lucky.

Goodnight, bloglings