Well internet, it has certainly been a week. I have been putting off this post for days because although I have a lot of things to reflect on, I don't have nearly enough energy to do them justice. I'm hoping that getting something up here will help quiet my mind a bit - one less expectation (even if it is just an expectation I created for myself) that I've left unfulfilled.
Although I'm sure you would only have to flip back a few months to find my blog full of school-induced stress and desperate longing for summer, it has come to my attention that I'm actually looking forward to getting back to school. A four-month summer break is great - if you have other things to fill it besides work, sleep, and tumblr. LeakyCon was a wonderful, magical escape from real life. But now that I'm home, in a lonely muggle town and quite without friends, fandom or otherwise, who I can physically hang out with, summer pretty much sucks.
Both my mind and my facebook inbox are abuzz with plans for the fall, and I can't decide if it's making all of this better or worse. Of course, the excitement leading up to fandom events and friend reunions is a lot of fun, and a great distraction - but the disconnect between the anticipated future and the actual present is this ocean that I run out of breath trying to cross.
Fortunately, there is another kind of escape. A world that, while fictional, is much easier to fall into than the plans for my own future. OotP has always been my favourite Harry Potter book - a preference, I have discovered, that is fairly uncommon. Although I first read it when I was far younger than 15 year-old Harry, his struggles always got to me in a way that those of 11 year-old or 17 year-old Harry's did not.
Now, of course, I am once again years apart from OotP Harry, but I don't think I've ever felt closer to him. I'm about to sound like a big ol' walking cliché, but I really identify with the boy who finds himself oppressed by the heat, his family, and the stifling suburban mindset of those around him. Despite the uncertain circumstances he finds himself in, Harry's delight upon being reunited with his friends comes across so clearly that my heart almost leapt out of my chest during my recent reading of it.
Although I know the plot, all its twists and turns, by heart, this book remains a wonderful world to fall into. A world where I know that no matter how frustrating the Dursleys are, and no matter how hopeless the dementors make the world seem, the Order will come to the rescue, we'll go back to Hogwarts, and the adventures will continue.
Goodnight, bloglings
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