Week 23: Song of the Summer

Skipping the formalities of explaining why this post is so late, I think it's time for an Angry Feminist Rant. Is that cool with you guys?

As someone who gets fiercely attached to songs that are popular at certain moments in my life, I always enjoy the guessing game for what chart-topper will be remembered as the Song of the Summer. An unofficial designation, but one that I usually put quite some thought into. I guess it's part of constructing the mental scrapbook of a certain period of time - the images and feelings that make up something as magical as a summer definitely need a soundtrack.

This past weekend I spent a lot of time driving around, listening to (mostly) catchy summer tunes on various radio stations. And although it's been out for a few months, it was the first time I'd heard the song "Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke. It's currently a major contender for song of the summer. At first blush, it's a funky, upbeat song that is perfect for car sing alongs. Except for, oh yeah: the lyrics.

For the sake of this post, we'll put aside the "normal" (although the fact that this shit is normalized makes me want to barf) sexism that pervades practically all pop songs. The objectification of women is basically all men know how to sing about.

But what particularly irks me here is the blatant disregard for the concept of consent.  If you've ever heard someone talk about rape culture, this is what they mean. The idea that a woman's (enthusiastic, verbal) consent is not required in order to touch/kiss/have sex with her. The idea that even if she does exercise her right to deny consent, she is leading him on/playing hard to get/toying with him and he should keep trying/harass/rape her because he deserves it/she actually does want it, despite saying NO.

A sampling of the vile lyrics, for those of you blessed to never have heard them:

.......
I know you want it
You're a good girl
Can't let it get past me
......... I hate these blurred lines
I know you want it
...........
 But you're a good girl
The way you grab me
Must wanna get nasty


Let's start with "I know you want it". This is the central message of the song - the singer is convinced that this girl wants "it", despite her giving not a single verbal signal that she does, in fact, want it. He is convinced that he knows what this woman wants, better than she does. Or, more likely, he is so pumped full of male culture that he actually cannot conceive that a woman might not want him to touch her.

He sings "can't let it get past me" implying that although this woman has not given any sort of consent, he is not going to stop pursuing her. 

The "good girl" image is really a topic for another rant. (Pssst: the good girl/bad girl dichotomy is misogynistic because it gives men the power to judge women based on their conformity to archaic standards of behaviour)

The whole idea of "blurred lines" really makes my blood boil. The entire song is based on the idea that a woman's consent is not fixed or definite - that what she says or doesn't say, with regards to consent for sexual advances, is not the last word. 

Let that sink in.

What people are calling the song of the summer is about how A WOMAN DOES NOT ACTUALLY HAVE THE FINAL SAY IN WHAT A MAN DOES TO HER BODY.

This is the culture we are living in. Preschoolers are taught the difference between yes and no. Most people make it past that year of education. So where did that knowledge go? That ability to differentiate between a person who wants you to touch/kiss/have sex with them, and a person who doesn't?

"The way you grab me, must wanna get nasty" - this line is perpetuating one of the biggest challenges faced by people who struggle against rape culture. Male culture somehow teaches that if a woman says yes to one thing (dancing, touching, kissing, etc.) then men have some sort of fast-pass that automatically entitles them to sex.

In case any of you are still struggling, let me break it down.

Sex without consent is rape.

If you say yes to one thing, but don't want to do something else: you have the right to say no.

If you say yes to something, then change your mind: you have the right to say no.

If you feel you have led this person on, but don't want to do something: you have the right to say no.

As a rule: you always have the right to say no.

If you do not explicitly say yes, it is rape.
 
The ideas in these lyrics are the exact same ideas that cause rape.

The objectification of women (though a broader issue) leads men to believe that if boxes a, b and c are checked off, they deserve sex.

Regardless of the woman saying yes or no.

And even if she does say no, her (perceived) body language, reputation or behaviour all override that denial of consent.

Great job picking the song of the summer there, general population.

/rant over.

Goodnight, bloglings