Well this is officially the latest I've ever been with my Sunday blog post. I've just had.....things to do. Things and ... stuff.
I moved back home Saturday, and since then, time has been moving in that weird way, distorted like your reflection in a fun house mirror. It feels like it's been ages since I saw my school friends, but at the same time it feels like just yesterday. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but missing those people and places and things this much has really taken me by surprise.
To be honest, I'm feeling pretty down about it.
But there is an odd feeling of relief about this sadness. It feels easy and okay. Something I can sink into and kinda relax in.
I spent so much of this year being stressed. Stressed about school, about friends and most of all stressed about being stressed. I was happy, but sometimes only because I couldn't afford to be unhappy, because I couldn't afford another thing to worry about. And now that those sources of anxiety are gone, I feel as though I have permission to just feel things. Permission to be sad.
Although nothing about this return home has been reminiscent of the summer vacations of years past (maybe because it still hasn't exceeded fifteen degrees here), there is something kinda pure about this feeling. As if I have traveled back in time to when missing my friends (who I will see in four months, if not sooner) was the most complicated thing in my life.
Of course, none of this stuff really makes me less sad. Missing some of the best friends I've ever had still really, really, really freaking sucks. But I guess it's kinda like having a side of okay with my super-sized serving of sad. It doesn't make the sad any less, it just makes it taste better.
Goodnight, bloglings
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